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Thirsty Thursday: Starbucks Blonde Roast
It seems like a lot of people have beef with Starbucks, yeah? Independent business people get down on Starbucks for pushing out mom-and-pop coffee shops and gentrifying neighborhoods, while capitalists get down on the old boy for offering their waged employees reasonable healthcare. But nobody gets down on Starbucks the way coffee snobs do. “Starbucks!” the coffee snobs poo-poo, sticking their finely-tuned noses in the air. “Why would you drink drip coffee that’s always burned?” And you … Read entire article »
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Thirsty Thursday: A Fond Farewell to a Flavor
Now that Christmas and Hanukah have come and gone in a relative-strewn frenzy, we evict our Christmas trees to the curb and store away our menorahs for another year. Fast food chains stow away their decorations for the changing seasons, too — but while I won’t miss the creepy animatronic Santas and the half-hearted Star of Davids, I will miss one thing that’s going away: pumpkin flavoring. Ah, pumpkin flavor! Most of us write you off … Read entire article »
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Thirsty Thursday: Jamba Juice’s Pumpkin Smash
Are you aware that soon the pumpkin season will be over? I know — it’s a difficult reality to stomach. Technically, the good ship Pumpkin has already sailed with Thanksgiving — the pies are now pecan, gingerbread and peppermint are scrambling to be the holiday tastes du jour, and squirrels suburb-wide feast on the remains of smashed jack-o-lanterns. But some pumpkin still lingers, specifically at chains that are totally ok with using whatever can be … Read entire article »
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Thirsty Thursday: Dunkin Donuts Warm Apple Cider
Back when New York used to have distinct seasons instead of smash-cutting between “Blistering Hot” and “Suddenly Snowing”, autumn was my favorite season. There’s just something about turning leaves, Thanksgiving cornucopias, an unpredictable temperature on the subway, and having allergic reactions to your clothes pulled from winter storage. The best part, though, is the apple sellers at the green markets busting out the heating pads to serve piping hot cups of apple cider, an impulse … Read entire article »
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Thirsty Thursday: McDonald’s Real Fruit Smoothies
With less than a week left to McDonald’s Monopoly, my pull-tab accumulation has reached a fever pitch. Reflecting on my time aggressively bingeing on McDonald’s for the slim chance I might win a $50 day spa visit (which is somehow fully taxable by the US Government), I see that Monopoly has taught me more than just the benefits of rifling through other people’s garbage for stray game pieces — it’s brought me the joy of … Read entire article »
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Thirsty Thursday Midwestern Special: Caribou Coffee
Pop quiz, foodies. Here’s the word problem: In the morning, Bob — or some other generic John-Doe name — walks into the same coffee joint everyday. This coffee store is a national chain with a recognizable logo, with shelves of branded merchandise and take-home coffee beans. Its predominant color scheme? Green. The kind of coffee it predominantly sells? Frilly specialty drinks. There’s even a display case for various edibles, ranging from a 600-calorie blueberry muffin … Read entire article »
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Thirsty Thursday: McDonald’s Frozen Strawberry Lemonade
Pull the shorts out of storage, the industrial Saran Wrap off the windows, and spruce up your disgusting winter feet for sandals — summer is here, foodies! Alriiiiiight — summer doesn’t officially kick it off until the solstice on June 21st, but with global warming spicing things up, it’s ok to celebrate a little bit early. And though summer means freckles, and sunscreen, and sand in orifices you didn’t know you had, it also means … Read entire article »
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Thirsty Thursday: Jamba Juice
Jamba Juice is a tough topic for me to address, foodies. I consider myself a diplomat; I don’t like to brag about this, but it was I who brought an end to the international incident known as the Pepsi Challenge by negotiating a peace treaty between Cocacolandia and the Republic of Pepsi. The point is, I’m not a pot-stirrer. (Unless that pot is filled with chili from Wendy’s with as-of-yet unmelted bits of cheese, in which … Read entire article »
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Thirsty Thursday: The Elusive Mr. Misty
After out-of-tune recitals and renditions of Shakespeare that made the Bard’s bones shudder, the fledgling musicians and actors of Maine West High School had only one destination in mind. I don’t mean the stairwell that always reeked of weed (though that was a pit stop) — I mean Dairy Queen. Ah, DQ — purveyor of iconic summertime treats like the Blizzard and, for those in the “BMI Over 25 Club”, the Peanut Buster Parfait. DQ theoretically … Read entire article »
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Xtreme Gulp
As a fast food blogger, it’s safe to say I have mixed feelings about Morgan Spurlock. My initial reaction, upon viewing his watershed documentary Supersize Me, was: 1) “How close is the nearest McDonalds, are they still open, and what is their order limit on Big Macs”; and 2) “McDonald’s does birthdays?!” If you’re like most people, though, you found Spurlock’s McDonald’s-sponsored degeneration from healthy dude to liver failure disconcerting, and put pressure on McDonald’s to take responsibility … Read entire article »
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Briana
Briana is a fast food aficionado and graduate of NYU with a degree in Abnormal Psychology & Creative Writing. A South Carolina native, she spends her days pining for Zaxby's spicy fried mushrooms and her nights sleeping.
Mary
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