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Arby’s Chicken Tenders | A Eulogy

Arby’s Chicken Tenders | A Eulogy

Dear foodies, This holiday season, it’s important to remember those we have lost. (Caveat: I sincerely believe in this, but I will now proceed to be flip as hell). Me, I’d like to take a moment of silence to remember Arby’s chicken tenders. A few days ago, my roommate mentioned (apropos of something, I’m sure, though I don’t remember what) that as a youth he once drank a lot of Sunny D, then experienced a terrible stomach … Read entire article »

Filed under: Fast Food, Uncategorized

Arby’s Angus Cool Deli Sandwich

Arby’s Angus Cool Deli Sandwich

Dear foodies, As you loyal readers know, several months ago I did a “Battle of the Brands” between Arby’s and Subway for grilled chicken salad/pecan sandwich concoctions. The winner was Arby’s, winning on the platform of Ridiculously Fresh and Crunchy. As a new sandwich was introduced into the Arby’s oeuvre, I decided to give it a shot. The Angus Cool Deli sandwich is described as follows: Oven-roasted, thinly sliced USDA Choice Top Round Angus beef served cool and topped … Read entire article »

Filed under: Fast Food, Uncategorized

Fast Food Roundup

Fast Food Roundup

Hey foodies, After a long weekend of walking, walking, walking, and watching How I Met Your Mother, it’s time to get back in the post grind (and out of the “dreaming of grinding with Jason Segel” grind). I decided to browse through the food blogs I have bookmarked…and whoa, here is some yummy shit I simply MUST try, soon. 1. Arby’s Cravin’ Chicken Sandwich (Brand Eating) Available in both Crispy and Roast versions, the Cravin’ Chicken Sandwich’s most … Read entire article »

Filed under: Fast Food, Uncategorized

Battle of the Brands: Arby’s v. Subway

Battle of the Brands: Arby’s v. Subway

Hey foodies, Far be it from me to let fast food drama go unreported. When I heard about the simultaneous entrance of Arby’s Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Sandwich AND Subway’s Orchard Chicken Salad Sandwich (whatever happened to just calling things “hamburger” or “nuggets”?), I knew there would be some serious divides coming up in the fast food community. At fast food fanatic gatherings, new gangs would be created. Gang leaders would approach onlookers. … Read entire article »

Filed under: Battle of the Brands, Fast Food

Spicy Fries: A Study

Spicy Fries: A Study

Hey foodies, Today I would like to talk about spicy fries. Only two syllables away from my all-time favorite fast food treat, spicy fried mushrooms, spicy fries are a hot (GET IT, HOT LIKE SPICY LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL) topic in the fast food arena. Sometimes fries can be boring. There, I said it. But let’s be real here, foodies: sometimes your order of fries could be mistaken for an order of wet, salt-less potatoes. Sometimes even good fries can … Read entire article »

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Today in Deals: Free Arby’s Curly Fries

Today in Deals: Free Arby’s Curly Fries

I know Arby’s has hurt you in the past, Foodies. Remember that time you needed to tinkle during a long roadtrip, saw Arby’s was the next exit, and were like “my savior!”? Then you walked into that bathroom only to find an island of poo in the only usable stall?* Of course you don’t — you’re repressing it with all the might of your wounded psyche. Now I’ve gone and dug it up and oh … Read entire article »

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BREAKING: Sbarro – Go Gentle Into that Good Night

After pounding snooze for the twelfth time this morning, I arose to some disheartening news. Sbarro, purveyor of heat lamp pizza and employer of the greasiest workers at the mall, is filing for bankruptcy. Sbarro, like McDonald’s, is an icon — a red-and-green staple of mall food courts, typically sequestered to the corner where the food court becomes mall again. Its boldly striped cups are indelible from the mall experience the same way synthetic lighting, crappy keychains from Spencer’s, and Auntie Anne’s pretzels are (more on those sumptuous braids of dough later). Unlike McDonald’s, though, people rarely eat at Sbarro. In my struggle to remember what their food tastes like, I find I am struggling to remember if I’ve ever eaten from Sbarro at all. Sbarro is the Arby’s of the food court — oft sighted, oft mocked, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Breaking News

Food Pornography

It’s 3am on a Friday night. You’ve stumbled home from a long night of friends, drinks, and scrounging the bottom of your purse for change to bum cigarettes. With a Bushwick Pita Palace burrito in your hand and your third wind rising, going to bed is out of the question. Turning on the television (because apparently it’s 1992 and you only have dial-up), you settle in for a late night “personal massage” with the Spice Channel. But blast! You forgot to pay your cable bill this month and all the Spice Channel is serving is scrambled titties without even a dash of hot sauce. Never fear! For a no-monthly fee, you can see all the close-angled, slathered baby backs you desire. Mute the volume on Everybody Loves Raymond (gotta preserve that … Read entire article »

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