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Fast Food That Sucks Ass #6: Bean Burritos
It’s time for the most controversial series (and my personal favorite to write) on Fast Foodies: Fast Food That Sucks Ass. Foodies, for the most part Mary and I get along great as co-bloggers. But there are certain things on which we just do not agree. For instance: she doesn’t understand my hatred of condiments and I don’t understand why she includes references to bowel movements in her posts. See, although I’m not a prim’n'proper lady, … Read entire article »
Filed under: Fast Food That Sucks Ass
Tuesdays with Salad: The 1,000 Calorie Salad
In high school, my friend Kyle and I had some pretty great ideas. And not all of them were self-insert fan fiction! One particular idea was “It’s Only Salad,” a salad restaurant wherein regular American cuisine was served on top of salad. That way, if you order the lasagna salad followed by a hot fudge salad, you can just wave off the meal with a simple, “Well, whatever. It’s only salad!” Sometimes, every fast food salad … Read entire article »
Filed under: Fast Food, Tuesdays with Salad, Uncategorized
Fast Food PSA: Just Get Chips & Guac™
Have you just been coerced by coworkers, for the zillionth time, to go to Chipotle? Underneath your veneer of confident corporate professional, are you secretly intimidated by the limitless possibilities the Chipotle spread offers? Can your feeble mind, already overwhelmed by the choice-overload of Starbucks in the morning, barely differentiate between pinto beans and carnitas, even when you’ve theoretically been a committed vegetarian ever since you ordered “duck soup” at a shady Chinese spot and … Read entire article »
Filed under: Breaking News, Fast Food, Uncategorized
Taste Test: Taco Bell’s XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito
Long has the Taco Bell burrito been defined as the most flaccid member of the burrito family. After undergoing a few “enhancements”, though, the Taco Bell burrito has emerged from the lab stuffed — nay, STUFT. And now it’s here to challenge the legitimacy of food dimensions and Dad-style text message abbreviations used in ad campaigns. Ladies and gentlemen, the XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito. My best guess for this item’s premiere on the Taco Bell menu … Read entire article »
Filed under: Fast Food, Uncategorized
BREAKING: Chorizo at Chipotle
While Briana gallivants through South Carolina, some of us are stuck in the cramped, sweltering city, dreaming of open spaces, apartments with air conditioning, and a functioning L train. But lest we feel life isn’t fair, something glorious has descended upon something else that’s glorious. You heard it here, foodies — Chipotle now has chorizo. I heard whispers of it around the workplace weeks ago (FEEL THAT ALLITERATION). Jimmy, ever-faithful Fast Foodie photographer, pinged me with … Read entire article »
Filed under: Breaking News, Fast Food, Uncategorized
Fast Food That Sucks Ass #3: Rice
Hey foodies, I’m in a horrible mood today (and have been for the past week or so) and we all know what that means…Fast Food That Sucks Ass! Today’s fast food that sucks ass is a little, shall we say, niche. You don’t find rice at 80% of fast food restaurants, the main exceptions being Mexican/Fexican restaurants (i.e. Taco Bell, Chipotle) and Chinese restaurants (i.e. Panda Express). That is because 80% of fast food restaurants are smart … Read entire article »
Filed under: Fast Food, Fast Food That Sucks Ass
Thirsty Thursday: Pibb
The Cola Wars — the longest battle in carbonated beverage history — pits Coca Cola against Pepsi. Long have these two companies grappled for supremacy over the American taste bud, employing mercenary celebrity endorsements, concocting grueling challenges, and resorting to an arms races that spawned bizarre offshoots like Vanilla Coke (tastes like lip balm) and Pepsi Blue (tastes like oh God why). But in the shadow of Coke & Pepsi’s cold war struggle writhes a turf war oft unacknowledged. Philistines call it a war of cherry cola, but in reality it is a war of the Big Guy versus the Underdog, of intellectuals versus everyman, of Ph.Ds versus the guy with the GED. It is the war of Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb. And I’m with Mr. Pibb. This is a rooting for … Read entire article »
Filed under: Thirsty Thursday
Briana
Briana is a fast food aficionado and graduate of NYU with a degree in Abnormal Psychology & Creative Writing. A South Carolina native, she spends her days pining for Zaxby's spicy fried mushrooms and her nights sleeping.
Mary
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