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A Fast Food Vignette for 2011

A Fast Food Vignette for 2011

I’mma start this New Year’s off with a brief memory from 2011 that encapsulates the good times, the bad times, and the in between: The move from my last apartment to where I lay my head today was absolutely hellish. As in, happened during a virtual Brooklyn monsoon, thus guaranteeing me and all of my stuff were soaking; required many more trips back-and-forth in the UHaul than previously anticipated, thus forcing us to keep it overnight; … Read entire article »

Filed under: Fast Food, Uncategorized

Thirsty Thursday: Dunkin Donuts Warm Apple Cider

Thirsty Thursday: Dunkin Donuts Warm Apple Cider

Back when New York used to have distinct seasons instead of smash-cutting between “Blistering Hot” and “Suddenly Snowing”, autumn was my favorite season. There’s just something about turning leaves, Thanksgiving cornucopias, an unpredictable temperature on the subway, and having allergic reactions to your clothes pulled from winter storage. The best part, though, is the apple sellers at the green markets busting out the heating pads to serve piping hot cups of apple cider, an impulse … Read entire article »

Filed under: Fast Food, Thirsty Thursday, Uncategorized

Big Apple Barbeque Part 2: Sunday

Big Apple Barbeque Part 2: Sunday

Gather ’round, foodies, and I will tell you a story of woe. You see, it shouldn’t be me writing this post; originally, we’d planned for me to cover Saturday, followed by a post by Briana on Sunday. Alas, external factors thwarted us. I showed up at Briana’s doorstep at 1:45pm, expecting a companion to the second day of the BBQ — but it was not to be. For thirty minutes I sat, leaving her thirteen missed calls … Read entire article »

Filed under: Fast Food, Restaurant Review, Uncategorized

Big Apple Barbeque Part 1: Saturday

Big Apple Barbeque Part 1: Saturday

Yesterday I awoke like a kid on Christmas — too early and too excited for the day to begin. Was it because of some Hallmark-manufactured summer holiday of giving? No. Was it my birthday? No — that’s October 17th. (HINT HINT.) It was the inaugural day of The Big Apple BBQ in Madison Square Park, aka “The Two Days of the Year Heaven Descends to Earth.” Okay, okay — I realize barbecue is the antithesis of … Read entire article »

Filed under: Fast Food, Restaurant Review, Uncategorized

JetBlue Terminal 5: Wherefore Art Thou, Cinnabon?

JetBlue Terminal 5: Wherefore Art Thou, Cinnabon?

Foodies, you may be aware that while Briana & I conduct our slothful, gluttonous lives in Brooklyn, we’re both natives of far-off lands — far-off lands known as “not the Atlantic Northeast.” While Briana hails from the Dirty South, home of Nelly, hush puppies, and nationalism at the expense of sanity, I am a native of the Midwest, home of … corn? Soy beans? Normalcy bordering on indistinctness? I dunno, my seventeen years there were … Read entire article »

Filed under: Fast Food, Uncategorized

Bacon, Egg & Cheese & the Bodega

Bacon, Egg & Cheese & the Bodega

Watching Seinfeld as a kid in the Midwest was like watching a transmission from another planet: a planet called Adulthood in New York City. Sure, Friends was ostensibly set in New York as well, but it pandered toward a middle American idea of New York, all cab rides (uh …), coffeeshops (I guess?) and spacious, affordable apartments (LULZ). Phoebe never got stuck in the subway on her way to a birthday party, Chandler never leap-frogged … Read entire article »

Filed under: Uncategorized

Thirsty Thursday: Steak ‘n Shake

While New Jersey’s best known for orange celebrities and the loathing it inspires in New Yorkers, the state does have one redeeming quality: its diners. Yes, New York has its share of imitators borough-wide — the beloved Court Square Diner, the price-gouging Cozy’s Soup ‘n’ Burger, the pour-yourself-into-a-booth-at-2am Kellogg’s Diner — but they never quite reach the quality or authenticity of New Jersey’s greasy spoons. My bias might stem from my dad’s half of my family hailing from Caldwell, but honestly, there’s something absent from New York diners. Maybe it’s the accent. The Midwest, always the youngest child playing catch-up to its elders, tries its damndest to do diners. But, like most things middle America attempts, it gets it wrong … and turns it into a franchise with a drivethru. Ladies and … Read entire article »

Filed under: Thirsty Thursday

“Iconic” New York: Whopper Bar

Living in New York, I forego what most out-of-towners would consider “iconic New York.” I’ve never seen the ball drop; I go out of my way to avoid Times Square; and I’ve only seen the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade once (I use the word “seen” loosely, because Evan Williams egg nogg has an alarmingly high alcoholic content and can be put in a thermos). It’s not because I don’t have time — it’s because a lot of these attractions are not that great. After sitting on the wall of Central Park for five hours at the Macy’s parade, my butt was completely asleep and all I had to show for it was a few half-hearted waves from washed-up celebrities. As for Times Square? No, I do not want to see your stupid comedy … Read entire article »

Filed under: Restaurant Review